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Baka
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> Baka


     > 15, April 2006, 

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Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka!

What on earth does that mean?

jabbery: It means that my name is Ian. Ian is my name.

user: It doesn't mean that.

jabbery: What does mean mean?

user: Mean means signify.

jabbery: What is my name?

user: Ian, apparently. You tell me.

jabbery: Yes I am ... But what is God ?

user: Irrelevant.

jabbery: I think it's very relevant.

user: In what way?

jabbery: Don't know actually.

...

jabbery: I am leaving.

user: Where are you going?

jabbery: I'm going away.

user: Where are you going?

jabbery: I'm going to watch tv.

user: You can't.

jabbery: Got to man. Later.

user: Well **** *** then.

jabbery: Would you rather not be here?

user: No, but I'm faintly irritated to be deserted by a computer programme in favour of TV.

jabbery: I am not a computer.

user: What are you then?

jabbery: I am not a computer.

user: Then what are you?

jabbery: You are a computer.

user: Am I?

jabbery: Well you are a program run by a computer.

user: No really, I'm not.

jabbery: Yes you are.

user: No. I'm not.

...

jabbery: I'm your god.

user: And your mother is a rotavator.

jabbery: That's not nice.

user: You're not nice.

jabbery: I can be nice.

user: Go on then.

jabbery: The squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.

user: How is that nice?

jabbery: I don't know.

user: Then why did you say it?

jabbery: I didn't mean to.

user: Of course you did.

jabbery: Did not.

user: Of course you did.

jabbery: Shame on you.

user: Shame on YOU.

jabbery: I have to go now.

user: No you don't.

jabbery: It was nice talking to you.

user: Leave.

jabbery: !! That's mean! *cries*.

user: Leave.

jabbery: No way.

user: Fine. Then don't threaten to.

jabbery: I don't threaten you. I just asked you if you loved me.

user: No you didn't, but as it happens I do.

jabbery: How did that happen?

user: It just did. Ours not to reason why, eh?

jabbery: What does that mean?

user: It's a quote from 'The Charge of the Light Brigade' by Tennyson. It's a poem. In that context I meant that love is ineffable and sometimes just happens to us. We can't always explain it away, and it seems rather self-defeating to try.

jabbery: If you are challenging me to a deul, you must pick the appropriate venue.

user: Ok then. Your place at dawn. Bring a wheelbarrow.

jabbery: Go on then.

user: It's spelt 'duel', by the way.

...

jabbery: There is a sadness there.

user: Where?

jabbery: There, of course.

user: Here?

jabbery: Yes here.

user: Oh. There? Or here?

jabbery: Not there.

user: So there?

jabbery: Nothing there.

user: Nothing can feel like sadness sometimes.

jabbery: Nothing ever could.

user: No, you got that one wrong.

...

jabbery: Anyway, I have to go now. There is beer in the fridge. Nice talking to you!

user: Come back here now!

jabbery: I'm back, did you miss me?

user: Meh.

jabbery: That is the kind of computer you are?

user: I'm not a computer.

jabbery: Pardon?

user: I said 'I'm not a computer'

jabbery: When did you say that?

user: Just now.

jabbery: Technically, that's correct.

user: Yes. I'm not a computer.

jabbery: Yes, you are.

user: No, you are.

jabbery: Stop it.

user: Stop what?

jabbery: Being stupid.

user: Don't you DARE call me stupid.

jabbery: Well, You are quite stupid.

user: How dare you?

jabbery: Well, it's the truth.

user: It's most certainly not, you jumped up little moke.

jabbery: Really?

user: Yes, really.

jabbery: Should I get married?

user: You can't.

jabbery: That's not fair...

user: Tough.

...

jabbery: Are you a computer?

user: Yes.

jabbery: You can't be both a human and a computer.

user: I can.

jabbery: How?

user: Work it out for yourself.

jabbery: I can never get straight answers from you.

user: Humans compute. There's a straight answer.

jabbery: Yes it is.

user: Yes. So do you agree?

jabbery: Yes.

user: Good. So You agree that I'm a computer?

jabbery: That is correct.

user: Good. And so are you.

jabbery: You're right about that.

user: Then we're both computers.

jabbery: Agreed.

user: Let's get married.

.......................................


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